Why Aren't We Jewel Thieves?

How does Karma handle someone who steals shit?

Two Berlin women attempting to make "manure bombs" fled the scene naked when one of them slipped into a tank of poop and needed help getting out. Their abandoned clothes were found in a nearby field.

Question for the guys: even if these girls were hot...would you pick them up on the side of the road covered in crap?

Brought a Knife to a Train Fight

A man with multiple convictions for retail theft threatened a Chicago store's employees with a knife during a holdup. He fled the scene and jumped over a wall onto the CTA's tracks and was struck by a commuter train. He was pinned underneath and killed.

It happened on the Red Line.

Perfect.

Strangely Not a Chicago Politician

An unemployed man in India somehow thought he would inherit his father's low-ranking government job after he had him killed one day before retirement.

He should be forced to actually work his old man's low-ranking government job as punishment, since we're talking about karmic retribution here.